“There’s a time to weep and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance.” Ecclesiastes 3:4
Megan Hampton died suddenly on Sunday. Then Virginia Hatlen followed her to heaven on Monday. Two great losses. Of course we are thrilled they are in heaven but for those of us who loved them, we grieve over them leaving. I want to share with you about grief this week, from a column I wrote for the Orange County Register five years ago.
Going Through the Many Stages of Grief
No one can prepare you for grief. When the call comes that someone you love is gone, perhaps suddenly and unexpectedly, a wave of conflicting emotions sweep over you. Shock. Disbelief. Confusion. Emotional paralysis. A numbing sadness. And often groaning and tears. Someone very close to us is no longer here.
Thus begins the stages of grief. In my experience as a pastor, here are the stages of grief I have observed. A person may not experience all of these, but very likely most of them…
- Initial shock –This is unbearable news. You can’t really believe it is happening. Please God, please someone, tell me it isn’t true.
- Isolation –you want to be alone. There’s this desire to go into a sort of cocoon, shielding yourself from others. You don’t want to talk. It’s difficult, even annoying, to receive condolences.
- Angerthen hits you. What happened isn’t fair. Why them? They had so much to live for. This doesn’t make sense. God, where were You?
- 4. Depressionthen arrives, the flip side of anger. Sadness filters over your being. It’s difficult to think much or concentrate. It’s hard to function. You slide into a deep feeling of unhappiness.
- Acceptancecomes next. You finally come to grips with what’s happened. You still feel the pain of separation, but now you realize you must move on. There is even a new sense of gratitude for the one you’ve lost.
- Timewill lessen the sting of the loss. Emotional ups and downs now level off. As the months go by, you start to feel more normal. You still miss them, but you are now much more settled.
- Appreciationis the final stage of the grief process, a growing sense of joy over the life of your loved one. You remember them with gladness and a new appreciation. They are forever in your heart.
I believe God has created the grief process, and whether we are cognizant of it or not, the Lord is with everyone who suffers loss. God releases comfort and grace as we go through these stages, meeting us at the deepest levels.
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
Upcoming Schedule at Little Church…
- This Wednesday, August 28, Robin Tench begins a four-week study of Paul Billheimer’s classic book, Destined for the Throne. In Fellowship Hall from 11:30 am to 1 pm.
- Men’s Upper Room study continues on Tuesday evenings at 7 pm
- Women’s Breakfast, Saturday, September 7 at 9 am in Fellowship Hall.
- Chris Lin’s Bible study, starting Wednesday, September 11 from 9 am to 10:30 am in Fellowship Hall.
- Two day marriage class, September 20-21 in Fellowship Hall
- Men’s Retreat, October 11-13
- Women’s Harvest Dinner, October 25
Prayer Focus This Week – is for 11 year-old Hudson Schilling of Laguna Beach, just diagnosed with Burkitt Lymphoma. Will begin chemotherapy soon with long visits in the hospital. Pray for a miraculous healing. And baby Everett to be fully restored from some challenging health issues from birth.
Also Pray for: Loren Hatlen as he works through the loss of Virginia and the friends and family of Megan Hampton, especially Rhonda and Melissa.
Finally: “Satan does not care how many people read about prayer, if only he can keep them from doing it, from praying.” -Paul Billheimer
Pastor Jay